My Lemonade Life is the journey of turning my lifes lemons into lemonade.

As a mom and wife, for over two decades, I put everyone else's needs first. I dove headfirst into motherhood and being a wife, putting every bit of energy and ounce of my soul into intentionally making my husband happy and raising my children. Not until recently, after my very first therapy session, did I realize that how I was a wife and how I parented my children reflected not only how I was raised (some of which I knew) but the trauma that I faced. Trauma. Even saying that makes me a little emotional.

My new therapist said something that hit home for me. Something I'd heard before but it was the way in which she worded it. "Why do you believe you are unworthy of the love you deserve". "What happened to you as a child?" This came after giving her a simple "background" of myself, my husband, and my kids, she said it sounds like you married a narcissist. I was astounded. How could she know that from the little information I provided? She asked what my relationship was like with my father. Whoa. The product of a divorced home after my mom kicked my dad out when I was one, I had never really thought about it. We didn't have much of a relationship after all. Then I realized, there were things about how my dad treated me, about how he made me feel, that my husband also does. I hadn't realized that choosing my partner, I was choosing someone that mimicked my father, even with the relatively small relationship we had. Choosing my spouse meant choosing a narcissist and as I grew as a person, a mom and a professional, my marriage became more tumultuous, and I stayed.